I’ve lit some candles for Amy and have written the rest of the night off, curled up with the cats sobbing hysterically while i watch ‘ps I love you’ for the first time.
Im sure it wont be long until i start on the icecream and pudding, tears still flowing.
The unit co-ordinator is sending me home.
6 missed calls, three messages:
“Please pick up”
It was a tuesday evening and I was locking up the shop. We hadn’t spoken since I’d cooled things between us a month or two before and I was suppose to be on the way to another boys house.
But he needed me. I knew he needed me.
Without hesitation I called him back, and a whimpering mess sobbed into the receiver,
“She’s gone… Amy’s gone… She’s gone….”
At the young age of 18, she lost the battle against depression and took her own life. My body turned to jelly and the room began to spin around me, heart throbbing in my throat, chest stone cold…
This has always been one of the most tragically beautiful moments in the history of us and I smile and cry whenever I reminisce.
We held each other a little longer and tighter this morning, and he called me back to kiss my forehead tell me he loved me most. Its a harsh but important reminder to not take the ones you love for granted, one day you might not get the chance to tell them…Gone but not forgotten.
R.I.P Amy, be partying hard up there baby girl
things are piling on top of one another. I can’t take this anymore I’ve already broken down a few times but I just want it to end. I’m sorry.
I had a bath and brushed the cat and ate some cereal and milo and now am watching infomercials and talking to the cat omg.
Everyone my age is getting engaged or pregnant and I’m over here like imma just go eat this tub of icecream with a spatular…
I guess it’s only fitting that every element and relationship in my life is as crazy bipolar as I.
Your Song | Kate Walsh
I have loved this song ever since Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging.
overwhelming sadness just washed over me.
I have had beyond the shittest day and have $11.06 in my bank account till I get paid next week… Late night please be kind…
omfgcutest;
okay so he actually legit missed me so much he has convinced a friend to pick him up, pick me up then take us back to his place so we can sleep in each others arms and he can rub my back and stroke my hair and do all those things that don’t make you better, but make you feel better… you know?
Missing my boyfriend can be a good thing.
After 3 perfect days and two glorious nights together (and the beginning of a completely unrelated, steep, hard-hitting 3 day slump that started on our last night together) these last 2 days apart have been lonely, but actually nice.
I’m only now starting to desperately crave his touch and warmth but his cute missingness messages to me are just making me look forward to tomorrow. Life is so hectic and I am so drained but he is my calm.
I know so many of you will never understand it, but I love him, wholeheartedly and unconditionally. “He’s troubled, a bad influence, he is going nowhere…”
Get Fucked.
“We’re all troubled, he understands, and actually stands for something”
I love him, because unlike 96% of people in my life, he actually knows me. He knows every dark corner of my past, every violent shadow of my history and the sad story behind every scar. He knows me in the most intimate, passionate, curious way and can still look me in the eye and actually mean it when he says
“I love you” and that is something I even struggle with sometimes…
We have such a strong connection, and I can’t imagine my life without him, because I don’t want to imagine my life without him. And after 7 years, you’d think I’d have realised that before now. I love him in a way you will never understand, and thats okay, because you don’t have to understand in order for it to be true.
I am actually petrified about how sad I am feeling right now.
Texting Dad saying
“On such a high right now, day has been awesome all round!”
And giggling that he doesnt even know.
He greeted me with a kiss at 12:07am and held me tight before kissing me again and asking how my day was. While I got ready for bed he took the blanket outside so I could curl up with him while he had his last cigarette for the night. I apologised for turning up so late and having to leave so early, and he reassured me it was no hassle, he just wanted to hold me for the hours between..
When we finally ventured to bed he tangled his limbs around mine and edged in closer, complaining we still weren’t close enough, in the cutest way possible.
Usually after an hour or so cuddling, we’ll turn our separate ways and drift off back to back… But when I did this, he turned with me and spooned his bodyshape to fit my own.
It was the most beautiful sleep I have had in quite sometime…
